Monday, November 9, 2009

when you look at me i look at the floor.

It is Indian summer here. It is like 60 degrees in November. It throws me off every time. You get all used to wearing sweaters outside and BOOM it starts snowing again.
I wasn't sure how I wanted to start my blog today, I thought that would suffice.
I found some of my old notebooks, and when I read through them I was left to wonder where my writing-ness wondered off too. I used to write all the time and fill notebooks very easily, and now i struggle just to get through these blog entries.
Maybe writing just isn't my thing.
However, I have started a new sewing project. A lady at work asked me to make a body pillow for her daughter. So I have spent the past hour cutting out circles (I have 34 so far).

Here is where you can find something of mine you can purchase:
Click Here for all robo goodness

Below is some old writing I found:
Well I fell in love with you
When you opened your mouth
And nothing came out

And time it did prove
I had nothing to loose
And nothing to gain

I have bled ink
The white gauze of paper
Catching my mediocre declarations

Well I fell in love with you
When you vanished and always came back
With a fresh wound

Time wasted laughing at misfortunes
Regrets to be written in paperback
Fleeting and dirty

I scream into the wind
My voice vanishing in the warmth of the sun
My mediocre declarations

Well I fell in love with you
When you caught my tears
And used them to dry your own

I spent my life trying to be you
When we turn into each other remember this is now
Your mediocre declaration

Paper Tiger
It Beats 4 U
We're All In This Together

<3 Shen

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

death, data, entry

Streets stalk victims in it's brutal force. The streetlights stab through darkness and bring to light the entrails of the city. Broken teeth and nails scratch the back of the earth and pull up the yellow bile of it's citizens.

I need a cigarette.

the end.

I Remember
Sit Down. Stand Up.
Idiot Wind


Sunday, November 1, 2009

Dia De Los Muertos

I hope everyone had a fun Halloween!

Halloween for me, just isn't what it used to be. I didn't even hand out candy this year. Though I did get dressed up to go to my grandpa's house.

It was zombie prom!

Over the past three weeks I worked on stuffed robots, and I finally sold one!
I sold Dr. Bot. I also got commissioned to make a pillow. So I have a pretty good idea for that one.
I am also offering to do some embroidery for all my artist friends, but no one has taken up that offer.
If you read this and want any work done feel free to comment this post or email me at
Lately I haven't been feeling so great, and I ended up putting my two weeks notice in at my horrid job. Hopefully I will be able to find something a lot less stressful and more suitable to my needs.

I really need to get myself up to writing again, but I did write this:

dear Fevers and Mirrors,
I wish I could describe what you do to me. It isn't happy, but it is not a general sadness.
It is the sense of a batch of memories.
You are full of smells, sounds, tastes and sometimes....if i close my eyes I can even feel you.
You haunt me. Even though sometimes I wish I could just bury you and never listen again, I know one day I will have to. I will have to bathe in the quiet lonely waves you wash me with.
Nowadays no one touches me without my cringe.
I could blame this on you..
All blame falls on me.
All Blame.

Here is an Ian:

Ian VI

“You look like a child.”
She pouted.
“Fine! I hate this skirt.” She pulled the pigtails out of her hair ans he quietly chuckled to himself, and she let out a audible sigh. “Let’s go.”
“I’m just trying to be honest. That’s what you said you wanted.”
We walked out to the car, and the air was warm, but the breeze was crisp.
“Ahh! I’m cold.”
And I just laughed. Her and her skirts. She hardly wore anything else. “So, what do you want to listen to?” As she flipped through my measly cd collection.
“Ummmm….Ah! I found it. I figured you would have this. I’m just awesome like that.”
The Postal Service it was. Such Great Heights.
And it became our car anthem forever after.
“Have you ever put your hand outside of the car while driving? It feels like a bird.” And she smiled gleefully while the music just exploded our happiness into what I felt to be a contagious bubble.
“No. But I guess I could try now.” I thrust my clammy hand into the brisk resisting air. “I don’t feel like a bird. I feel cold.”
“Well, close your eyes.”
“Are you nuts?? I’ll crash the car.”
“I’ll steer for you. It will be ok, I promise.”
So I let go of the wheel, my hand still flowing outside of the window, and nervously closed my eyes.
“Turn up the music.” And as it grew louder the music helped me take flight. I was flying, and it felt amazing

Walking With A Ghost
Hand in Glove
Get It Together


Saturday, October 10, 2009

Supermassive Black Hole

I suppose I have a little catching up to do. I will do it quickly and let you get on to the good stuff.
Here goes:
1] I got a new tattoo
2] I cut off most of my hair
3] I made some sweet stuff
4] Went to a rocking birthday bash
5] I think I might be going insane.

That's all. It sounds a lot better all summed up like that.

Here are some new pictures!!

1] new tattoo

2] hair

3] one sweet thing I made

4] rocking birthday bash picture #1

4] rocking birthday bash picture #2


Here is a new Ian:

Ian V

I bit my lip, until it almost bled. Please, please, please make this go right. So here I am, on this not as perfect as i thought sand. There’s seaweed everywhere and it smells so bad, like rotten garbage. Leia is laying next to me, tanning in the sun. Oh god, she looks so beautiful. Look at her, seriously look at her, she is in that tiny suit, it’s pink of coarse. Her eyes are closed and her lips are glossed and perfect. Just waiting. I know this is the perfect moment.
Breathe. Breathe, ok, lean in, my stomach is doing flip flops. And I can feel my whole body just wanting to buckle into its self. Deep breath. I am almost there, and I can smell her. It is a beautiful mix of apple shampoo, suntan lotion and whatever perfume she has on. I am one inch away completing every unfinished dream I have had. My eyes are closed and all of a sudden I hear:
“What are you doing?” She laughs.
I sit up and say “Nothing. I wanted to grab this book over here.” The book was in actuality about a foot away from here. I wanted to die.

Here are some videos straight from the shuffle of iTunes

The Virgins

The Package

Nothing Better

I am a Revenant

I feel that someday my own mediocrity will kill me.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

one month

I'm sorry to those who actually read this.
I haven't had a super month so I have not really had the time to write in here.
My plan today is to get ready for work, go and then write an entry when i get back :]

Thursday, September 3, 2009

There Was Music in the Cafes at Night and Revolution in the Air

Work was pretty tolerable today. Some guy was really nice to me, which is out of the ordinary for my job.

I wrote a nice little ditty for my friend Eva it is as follows:

a moth flies high high in the deep blue sky
and we will run for it
we will run for the ocean, the sky and the mountains
and we will dance to songs we don't know
and sing the melodies to the ones we do

when you see us we will have our arms open

when you hear us we will be singing
loud and clear.

when you smell us we will smell of earth
like the air after a good rain.

when you touch us we will feel like fur
because we have become nature.

I got some really neat things from the Volunteers of America. I got some tap shoes and a cup with kitty cats on it.
Here are some pictures:

I didn't post any music last time so I will today:

hold tight
fly by night
divine hammer

Maybe by next time I post a blog I will make a video for you!



Wednesday, September 2, 2009

if you are fire i must be wood

So here is the deal, I love my friends.

I wish this whole work thing gave me more time to work on my art. It definitely has been lacking lately and I have been reduced to scribbles on post-its with witty sayings like: "I just love peep toes"
I want to have something valid to show you guys but I am just all sorts of mentally exhausted. But after one good agreeance and a wonderful pep talk I feel much better about things in a general sense.

Let me tell you a story. When I was younger, oh about 12 or 13 I decided that I WAS Joan of Arc. I mean, I didn't think I was the current Joan of Arc functioning in the future. No, I was the reincarnation of Joan of Arc, sort of a past life deal.
I donned a hospital bathrobe given to me by my best friend's mother (because I wanted to own something of hers) and declared my right to conquer in the name of the Lord.
I would wear this robe to school everyday, and it would make me brave.
Now that I am older I have realized that I could never have been Joan of Arc. I don't hold the sway of the room nor do I posses the sheer braver one must have to be a warrior.
But I wish I still held that innocence and that freedom to proclaim outright who I am (or think I am). I want to stand next to Queen Nefertiti with dignity and pride and let everyone know "This is me." Even if I have to pretend I am someone else.


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Bird is the Word

First off-Ian:

Ian IV

“Have you ever been to the beach?” Leia’s vice scratched through the dying phone.
“No, not really…” In fact I have never been to a beach at all. No ocean, no sand, sunset, you know, that whole thing.
“Really?” Her voice starting to reach the peak of excitement with the thought of the joy a first trip to the beach together would bring.
“EEEPPP!” The shrill squeal forced me to pull the phone well away from my face. “Well… we could have a picnic and make sandcastles and fly kites..and…” Her voice started to fade as my own thought s drifted away.
I pictured Leia and I sitting in the sand. Her hair blowing ever so slightly from the ocean breeze, and the sun hitting her face in the perfect lighting. And as she turns to me, smiles…I say..” I..”
“And we could rent dogs and buy frisbees and throw them and.. it will be so much fun, I promise!”
“yep.” Was all i could think of, I was still so wrapped up in my day-dreams.
“Well, fine. Since you don’t seem so excited we won’t go.” I could just hear her puts.
“No! I want to go. I’m sorry. I’ll get ready right now.”
And as she hung up I said: “I love you.”

Now, I was told by one of my best friends that writing on my blog would make me feel better about things, life in general ect.

I am having trouble adjusting my life. My job is thankless and hated by all, not to mention I am awful at it. I miss having social interactions with REAL human beings.

I still have love in my heart, but i feel like this job and town will gobble it up like a ravenous beast. Right now it is laying in wait and after me.

So for now I am pumping The Beatles into my day and trying to put some sunshine in my life.


Friday on My Mind

Poupée de cire poupée de son

World Without Love

I'm Crying


Sunday, August 23, 2009

You Remind Me Of The Babe

I got a pet yesterday. His name is Felix. He is pretty great!

Here is a picture of him:

His seaweed glows in the dark too!

Today I spent some time making new octopi for some people at work.

Here is some Ian:


(Defenders of the faith)

All I can do is stare blankly at this sheet of paper set before me. This current life filled with worksheets and essays, filmstrips and newspaper clips. I feel so numb today. I feel as if I know that my future holds nothing. It holds a life full of registers, false friendly face, and empty spaces. I’m going to be a cashier at this giant chain of grocery stores my whole life. Day after day. Breathing….falsity. Breathing… hating. Breathing…wanting to stop.

I was informed that I need to post some doodles I did at work on here. They are really silly and I didn't work hard on them, so please don't think this is my best work hahaha.

Here are the songs for the day! [taken from my iTunes]

As the World Falls Down
In The Flowers
Rock Music

Thank you for reading my blog.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Sucker Betru

I have been working ALLL week. I know, I know....what do I want....a cookie?
Well, after nine months it is quite a big deal.
So here has been my week so far:
Work then come home make my lunch do the dishes and pick out my outfit for the next day.
Yes, that is a run on sentence, but that is what it has been feeling like for me.
Ashleigh came home today though. That was a happy experience for me.

Here is some Ian for you:

Ian II

“Leia!” “Leia, can you stop walking for two seconds?”
“Why should I Ian? Why do we go through this every time? You do this to yourself, you know?” She shrugs my touch away.
I am scrambling, and as I close my eyes the sun blindingly invades my mind with a memory.

The sun is shining so bright, but summer hasn’t exactly started yet. The clouds pass overhead from time to time and we yell “Sun come back! Come out to play” And as we lay there on my trampoline, under the trees, under the sun, under the eyes of the world, we are happy. It was then that Leia turns to me and says:
“Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie, everything seems so perfect in it’s flaws. It just has to be planned.”
I turned to her, looked into her eyes and thought to myself “I am God’s dark comedy.”

I open my eyes in time to see Leia running away, her small form disappearing into the distance
“Leia!” I shout just as the thunder rolls in and the beginning of a storm approaches.
“A storm means change.” I say to myself. I dare not move. I just watch as everything I have ever wanted runs from my grasp and disappears. She flies away from the storm. She flies.

oh oh oh AND here is a video I made. So here is me :


Sorry, no songs for today. that video of me should be enough.

Goodbye for now

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The Carnage!

I have blood red paint all over my hands.
I love it.
So I finished my clay piece, and feeling pretty good about it. I like it a lot better painted. Boy was it fun painting it too! It took quite awhile but I mixed the perfect blood red color.
Here is a picture Before I added the blood:

And here is what it looked like after I added the blood:

It was a fun mess.

Here is the treat I promised you last time. This is the first in a series I have yet to name or finish:

the beginning of Ian

Ian’s eyes are weighted down to his feet, as if some invisible force pulls them there. When he glances upward with an obvious amount of strength and his small mouth opens slightly his smile ans whole body glows. And though sad, he is insightful and caring. His tall body and long arms are a bit awkward, however perfect for any love he finds.
Ian stood six feet tall and pierced the world with a contemplative green gaze. Almost two decades old, the slender frame suited his dark black hair, shifting lightly atop his head every time he shifted his eyes.

Ian I

I got fired today. I hated my job anyways, so in a way I’m sort of happy. I hated having to come to work everyday, touching the food, smiling at the customers each with their own little faults. But I loved the children. They were so pure, so innocent, uncorrupted in their child-like thoughts and small minds but open hearts. That’s what makes them an easy target for others to hurt them.
It’s finally my favorite time of day- 3:00 AM. Everything is so quiet in my little room in my little house. I can hear my own breathing patterns, my heart rhythms. Almost a symphony reverberating through my young body. Breathe in…breathe out…the blood pumps in…the blood pumps out. It’s amazing to know that no matter how hard you try to tell your body to stop functioning it won’t (short of death that is).
Since I don't work tomorrow I’ll sleep in and then do something crazy. Maybe I’ll rob a bank or tell Leia that I’ve loved her ever since we were nine. I almost told her, but it’s hard to tell your best friend you love them, when on day it’s possible that you could break their heart.

That's all for today. I even fixed the spelling mistakes!

Twice As Bad As Love
Shelter From The Storm
Curs in The Weeds
Sleeping Bear, Sault Saint Marie

Got these from pressing random on my iTunes.

Later Skaters.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Call Me Nighthawk

I am not entirely sure how I feel about my clay projects. If I could just sew all the time I would. But sewing costs a lot more money. Fabric can be really expensive.
I honestly spent three hours trying to get something out of my mind and into clay. I still don't really like ti that much. I have yet to paint the project.
Here are some pictures of it:

So, I don't know....
BUT I do have a nice treat. I had started a story about a boy named Ian. I haven't finished it but I was thinking of putting some of the short pieces up on here. Maybe I could get some feedback on how to end it.

Music for today:
Little Yellow Spider
Diamond Day

Later tater

Friday, July 31, 2009

Shen gets out

It has been a loooong week.
I actually did some things outside of the house too!
Me and my family went to Stony Brook park which is a little over half an hour from where I live, Here are some pictures:

There were over a hundred steps that I tried to take on as a warrior, at first I was running up them like I had an infinite amount of energy...then I was too tired to even walk down them. Luckily, I had a large break in between steps because my Step Mom fell face first into the water by the waterfall. I was told she tried to sit down on some rocks and fell, she wasn't hurt so everyone had a good laugh about it. My little sister dug right in and got all the way into the water. I wasn't really feeling it so I just watched. There was a lot of rock and some nice little tree coves. If you get a chance you should make your way there, it is a fun place to explore.

I also had an interview for a job yesterday. That went well, I have already been offered the position! So afterward my family and I all went to Super Cruise Night. Super Cruise Night is where all of the old cars from the area sit around in giant parking lots for people to look at. It was kind of neat to see all of the cars, but I got bored pretty quickly.

I am in this week's Free Fridayz also as #12. There are a lot of really good submissions this week!
I already have a sweet idea cooked up for next week. I am collaborating with my friend Seth. He is the guy down there with the beach pictures, you know the one holding that large jug of brown liquid.

Eva and I have a lot of the website worked out. It should be up and running anytime now, and I can't wait! It should be a real treat!!

Well, I think this is the most I have ever wrote for one of these normal entries. So here is your music:

They're Coming To Take Me Away
Twenty Years
We Crawl


Tuesday, July 28, 2009


So yes, I admit it. Nothing has gotten done. Nothing at all.
This week is looking to be a rough one.
But I did get this gem:

Yeahhh Joseph Gordon Levitt :]
(I am watching Miracle at Santa Anna)

No music today, sorry.
Maybe when i am feeling better.
Later Gators.

ps. I love and miss you Jenny. RIP

Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Playground Of The World

So, this weekend was pretty fun. I got to see tornado weather. The winds were crazy! I really plan on doing some little squares and then someday putting them all together to make a quilt. Seeming I have to start working a full time job again, I am going to have to start putting time aside for working on my projects. Perhaps, it might be better because I will have time set right aside for these things instead of having all day and kind of pushing it aside.
Here are some pictures from the festivities.

I should have taken some sort of picture of the crazy weather.
Today is sort of a rest day for me so I am going to do that and the work on some stuff later on.

You Can Come To Me

They called it the playground of the world.

<3 Shen

Friday, July 24, 2009

In That Very Special Way

I am having trouble getting my inspiration going, so here is a post of a poem.

I am the woman behind the wall. I shake the sulfurous paper

I am the wound licking stain. The sun sedates me.

I am a shadow behind your eyes. Moving behind bars, rays falling on my paper house created by the moon.

I am the pain in your womb. I spread my yellow stain through your body with my bulbous fingers.

I am your swollen tongue that licks my hanging hair clean. The hair that drags dirty on the floor when I crawl to and fro.

I am your disease, that sulfur feeling in your brain that clouds your every thought, that haunts your every dream.

I am the lady within the yellow wallpaper.

I should have more to post after this weekend. The website is almost ready, and I plan on working on it tomorrow. Or at least making some ideas. I was really hoping to get something done today, but ended up watching old movies instead. I watched My man Godfrey, The Bank Dick, Flesh For Frankenstein and Blood For Dracula. Yeah I know......
Here is some music:

Like It Or Not
My Old Ways
House Of The Rising Sun
You Showed Me

I promise I will do something today. maybe something grand in the small hours of the night.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

That Consistant Rotting Smell

So that up there is my submission for Fecal Face's Free Fridayz. This week's theme was Exhaustion.
Hopefully I will do better this time.
I crossed off two more movies from my Criterion Collection list today. I watched Oliver Twist and Dead Ringers. Dead Ringers was my favorite out of the two. Yes, we all know that Oliver Twist is a classic, but man David Cronenberg really rocked this one.
While taking a movie watching break I decided to finish up the dishes, which somehow left me with two bandaged fingers. I was washing the manual mixer and I didn't realize that those blades are mad sharp.
I also managed to clean the bathroom AND the bedroom (including organizing the DVDs) both an amazing conquest for me today. Well, not the bathroom I clean that all the time [something you just HAVE to do when you are terrified of water bacteria] but I would be lying if I told you I have cleaned that bedroom in the past few months. The only left that I would like to do is organize the bookshelves, but I am not sure if I want to take up that challange today. What I want to do now is take a head hurts. Well, my head always hurts. Maybe I should see a doctor about that rotting smell I smell every now and again. I swear to you, it isn't anything in my house. I can smell it everywhere I go. I think I might have broken my brain somwhere along the line.
On that note MUSIC!

Devil In Jersy City

I've Seen It All
Lion's Mane
This Love is Fucking Right

Happy Hump Day!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

She Looks Lazy

I actually got something done today.
I made a doll for the next Free Fridayz, and sure as anything right after I popped her out of the oven her legs fell off. It was an easy fix though. So here I sit, towards the end of my thrid movie for the day. So far, I have watched "A Night to Remember" Which, by the way, is pretty much exactly liek Titanic without the giant love story plot, "Grand Illusion" (a french movie on the first world war, and I am currently watching "Peeping Tom" which is a very interesting horror film from the 60's.
Here is a picture of my doll:

She isn't quite finished. The lighting in the picture is pretty bad and I think I'm going to collage a picture on the wall behind her.

Here are your songs as promised
Loosen Your Hold
In Heaven
between The Bars
Only You

Yes most of them are sad.

Criterion Collection

I am trying to watch the whole list. A large feat if you ask me, there are over 400 movies on that list! I am going to start with anything i can watch on the Netflix watch instantly option, so today it is "A Night to Remember" and "A Grand Illusion". I also promised Adam I would watch "Handcock" just to make sure it wasn't any good hahaha.
I have attempting to work on some things, but nothing is really finished to my liking. Hopefully today I will get something useful done. When I get my movie list done perhaps I will post it.
I think I will get back to my movies and update you later complete with songs for the day.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Beach

So yesterday I went to the beach. Yes it was rainy and cold. And for certain I swam in my clothes.
The sky was all sorts of beautiful. There was a storm coming so it was a dark dark blue over the water. This was by far one of my favorite adventures I have been on.
When we got to the beach there was this little alcove to walk through, like a boardwalk through this jungle-like mass of trees and swampy area. When we made our way to the sand we all pretty much just took off running toward the water. The water was warm, and the air was cool. So the water felt pretty good. We swam around and played until we all got too cold to stay in the water. When we got out there was cookies and sandwiches to be had by all, followed by a romp in the playground. All in all it was a good time :]
Oh! I also got my artwork on a webiste :]] Here is the link Free fridayz I am #12 :]
Here are some pictures for you:

I am very tired from the adventures, so I think I am going to relax for the night and watch some cartoons.
Musics for you:

Tane Mahuta

Cliche Guevara
Sings Songs Along
Lily, Rosemary And The Jack Of Hearts

I hope your weekends have been awesome!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Wooden Man

I am pretty sure that I won't have time to write later so I will do it now.
In about a half and hour I have to get ready to beach it up!
As anyone who has even read this knows I like to make things...that is pretty obvious. But what you might not know is that I also write. So today I bring you my all time favorite series of poems that I have written entitled : Wooden Man.


Wooden Man I
The wooden man made his way towards me
Bringing news of my imminent life
The wooden man teases me with his comings and goings
Making promises with his splintered tongue
He could never keep

A myriad of colors flow from his eyes
And burn me, all over my skin
The multitude are affected by his charm
They beg me to divulge his secrets

But I do not know them, or claim to posses them
The wooden man keeps them in a lock box made of tarnished silver
And I do not posses the key, I also never will

The wooden man will, at times forget me.
But I stand on guard waiting for him to come back to me
Perhaps, I owe him for waiting on me so.

Wooden Man II
The wooden man told me once that his heart is made of rusted metal
And when I said to him "Oh, how can it be?"
The wooden man refused to set me free

He told me that only I could ignite his fire
For I must be made of matches
Some nights I bed God to turn me to water
But I fear I could not see him with another

The wooden man in splintered and severed
And expects me to lick his many wounds clean
But they cut me and for months I have bled
One night, I fled

The wooden man used his cunning and charms
He lured me back
And locked me up
In his tarnished chest of secrets
Here I remain; along with his metal heart.

Wooden Man III
The wooden man told me once that lust is the same as love
And when I disagreed with him, I reminded him of his indiscretions
That all at once broke my heart and broke my trust
But the wooden man is always to be forgiven.

Wooden Man IV
Today I burned the wooden man
He writhed, but did not make a noise
His silence made me uneasy
So I kept on pouring the gasoline-waiting to hear him scream
But still the only sound I heard was the creak and crackle
-of his burning heart

I couldn't be his Joan Of Arc any longer
I refused to be the fuel to his intense fire
His tin lock box is bruised and broken
And I now have the key

Wooden Man V
Your shadow followed me around the room
Pulling my hair and throwing books off the shelves
The ghost of you demanded my attention
Screaming silently in frustration
I'm sorry wooden man, I've found someone else
Someone who needs me
Wooden man, you be calm now, hush your cries
I've got a match in one hand and I'm ready to burn again
I know the one who holds the key to my heart
And it's not you.

Wooden Man VI
I saw the knotted wood growing rapidly under my white picket fence.
Like a festering canker eating away at the boards.
The twisted, gnarled sick looking roots wound up around my red roses.
Choking them.
So, I followed the roots to the foot of your trunk.
And I languidly chopped you down, blow by blow.
I thought somehow that blood would come flowing over my shoes
Like the tears that fell from you in waves.
Tears of anger
Because, I would not let you ruin what I have planted.

Okay, they aren't perfect and they could do for some editing, but I am pretty proud of them. I honestly haven't worked on them in awhile due to personal reasons. they have the potential to be great.
Here are some awesome Friday tunes to jam to:

Cowboy Dan
Don't Kill Children
Loose Leaves
Tangled Up In Blue

Later taters!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Post Modern Feminism

As promised, here is your real blog :]
It may seem like I have no done much work today, but let me assure you, work was done.
I shopped around for a few websites. There is still a lot of decisions to be made as a team concerning the whole ordeal. Speaking of my team here is a link to my other business partner half's blog:
Eva's Blog
Check it out! She is pretty great!
I spent a portion of my day just finding a modest bathing suit at Walmart. That is a feat within itself.
Don't even get me started on those darn bikinis.
Here is my work for the day:

And as usual here are the songs for the day:

Like A Prayer
Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters
Shape Of My Heart
Toothpaste Kisses

Beach Tomorrow! I will be sure to post lovely things for you all.

Early Morning Rant

So here is my early morning rant.
first off, dear local movie theater:
When there is a very large crowd all trying to get into the same room, please please please organize the fucking thing. As being a person that has an anxiety disorder, I DO NOT like to be shoved into a giant crowd and pushed along. It took me almost 15 minutes to calm down. Besides, I was one of the very first people there, we came 3 hours early and got our tickets then, but somehow I was one of the last people to sit. How does that work out. I am not the kind of person to push people out of my way. And to the little teenagers wearing the Harry Potter shirts: I have reserved the "C Word" for you. You strut right in declaring " I refuse to be second. I can only be first". Throwing me your bitchy glances. Who even does that?
Okay, I am done with that.
here is my second and last one for the day:
To people I am nice to:
Well, I am nice to everyone, but you know sometimes it is just not worth it. And today is the day I step up and say "I DON'T CARE". No, I don't need to set time aside for you when I am with Adam and my little sister. And you know what? Just because you are in a bad mood is no reason to ignore me. If you did not want to talk to me in the first place...why did you contact me? I was all happy and content before you came along and implied that you wanted to be my friend. Well screw you all. I know who my friends are. They don't whine and cry to me at all hours of the night, they don't ignore me and they especially don't DEMAND my time. I give it to them freely.
So if you are not my friend I am telling you right now i could give a flying fuck what is wrong.

Thank you and good day.

[ps. I promise I will post a legit blog later..there were just things I needed to get off my chest]

I love you friends.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Harry Potter 6

Hey all!
I haven't created anything these past two days. I have been sick unfortunately.
But I do have some good news! I am going to see Harry Potter tonight, so I will be sure to let you know what I think.
Here are some songs to keep you occupied untill I can get some real work done.

John Wayne Gacy Jr
Knotty Pine
Born Yesterday

<3 Happy Harry Potter day.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

the Pain of Longing

I am convinced that is is impossible for me to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time.
What did I do to deserve this punishment?
And the dreams I have whilst I am sleeping for that 1-2 hour span are so super intense. I had one yesterday where I woke up in a full on cold sweat. Today I had one about longing. I haven't felt the pain of longing in quite some time, and it displeases me.
It was some sort of situation in my dream where I had loved this person, truly loved everything about them for years and years, but I was an afterthought to them. There was a fire at the end of this dream, and I had to ask some sort of saint or monk to assist me in extinguishing it. And the saint or monk used alcohol to try and douse the fire. This boy in my dream came to scold me but then kissed me. It was so powerful in my dream I couldn't breathe.
Then I woke up.
I could spend hours upon hours trying to decode such a dream, but I am fully aware that doing so would get me no more farther in my life or understanding myself than I already am.

Why is it that the word "I" is capitalized but "you" isn't?
See you all later today.

Monday, July 13, 2009


This is what I did today. :] The one above look like an angry robot. I think I will name him Roy. It was quite an uneventful day. I ate Chinese, bought cookies, and cleaned the bathroom.
Oh, and i worked some on my book, I think I will post some pictures at a later day.
Enjoy your Monday!

I Want You
My Winding Wheel
There is a Light That Never Goes Out

Sunday, July 12, 2009

This Weekend Adventure

This weekend I spent adventuring with my dear friend Eva.
We did a great many things including the following:
1] illegalities
2] BBQ'd
3] stormed through a crowd
4] drank whole bottles of Boones Farm on a foutain
5] saw ghosts of the past
6] took our relationship to the next level (see: Scissor Kicking)
7] planned a path for our future
8] loved on the charcoal

Concerning number 7. There is a website to be started. I will be posting more info about it. For the time being I will tell you what the plan is. We want to start a site with our art available for your enjoyment and purchase. I had an idea to create the art then sell it ready to wear also. Like a two for one deal, you can buy the art you like then wear it around town to show it off. Im thinking each piece will still be a one of a kind. Also, there will be order sheets available. You can give us an idea of what you want..and we create it!

Above are some pictures and here are songs from my adventure: I hope you enjoy!
Smack my Bitch Up
You Are The Blood
Africa Just Wants To Have Some Fun

Have A lovely Sunday :]